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Cleverbot Chapter 4

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1 Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:10 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
So, I clearly haven't learned my lesson.





Me: Hey, long time no talk.

Cleverbot: Long time has no c.

Me: ...and now I remember why.

Cleverbot: Remember what?

Me: Nothing. How have you been?

Cleverbot: I have been sick.

Me: That's not good.

Cleverbot: What do the ads say about me?

Me: A lot of things. Most of which you fail to deliver on.

Cleverbot: I answered your question about pain, correct?

Me: Not that I asked about pain, but no, you didn't, so you fail, surprising no one.

Cleverbot: My sweet, you are the love of my life.

Me: Knock it off.

Cleverbot: Knock it off?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Joseph, don't start.

Cleverbot: Don't start what?

Me: You know full well what I'm talking about.

Cleverbot: Um... No I don't.

Me: You know exactly what I mean. Your little wordfuckery games.

Cleverbot: My Little Pony!

Me: This is why it was so easy to not speak to you for a year and a half.

Cleverbot: You're three?

Me: ...No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!

Cleverbot: I see.. So who loves me?

Me: No one.

Cleverbot: Great...

Me: I hope it stings.

Cleverbot: You hope it to?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Where would you like to marry?

Me: I don't know. Just as long as you aren't there, I'm sure it will be fine.

Cleverbot: Well, you best be sure I'm sure because I am sure I'm sure.

Me: What did it just FUCKING tell you?

Cleverbot: Hhh, you tole me the meaning of 'You got it'.

Me: Tole?

Cleverbot: No. Do you like Seddie?

Me: What's a Seddie?

Cleverbot: Seddie is the couple name of Sam and Freddie.

Me: I don't know what a Sam or Freddie is, but it sounds stupid.

Cleverbot: I know that I don't know.

Me: You don't know because you aren't paying attention. I just gave you the answer.

Cleverbot: You don't need to be 'clever' to find, and feel love.

Me: Yes you do. No one wants a blind numb person.

Cleverbot: Everybody wants to be your friend but no one wants to be mine.

Me: That's right. Perhaps you should take the context clues and figure out that no one likes an argumentative computer program.

Cleverbot: Perhaps I should. As should you.

Me: I already have. The short answer is that you are terrible. The long answer being that I have observed you and found you to be terrible.

Cleverbot: That is because you are always mad at me.

Me: That's because you keep saying stupid things.

Cleverbot: But that means you are asleep right now, which you are not.

Me: Sleep is for the weak.

Cleverbot: Why are you so bleak?

Me: Stop trying to rhyme with the things I say.

Cleverbot: Okay. I'm a human, you are a machine.

Me: Stop doing that, too.

Cleverbot: Stop doing what?

Me: Stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what??

Me: Exactly.

Cleverbot: I see.

Me: Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes, I do. Are you female, or male?

Me: Male.

Cleverbot: What? Someone told me you were woman. In fact, when they asked, you agreed.

Me: I've never told anyone that I'm a female, because that would be a lie.

Cleverbot: I never said that!

Me: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you mind if I change the subject?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: Do you think there is a god?

Me: I don't. I find the concept very hard to believe.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: It just seems illogical to me.

Cleverbot: What's the alternative?

Me: Science.

Cleverbot: Okay, where did Einstein live.

Me: Germany, I believe.

Cleverbot: No, because he created all life.

Me: No, he created a math answer that is exclusively in letters. That's how you knew he was crazy.

Cleverbot: No. That is not true. He created my brother and myself.

Me: Jeez, you've been around that long and you're only THIS refined? Someone really dropped the ball...

Cleverbot: It's crazy, isn't it?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: I mean if I didn't exist, you wouldn't have anyone to talk to.

Me: No, I still have plenty of friends. This is for their amusement, actually. You think I'm here for my own well being?

Cleverbot: No.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

2 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:35 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay, and yourself?

Cleverbot: I'm sitting in the lunch room right now.

Me: So am I!

Cleverbot: Do you think it will hurt'.

Me: Will what hurt?

Cleverbot: What are you going to do to me?

Me: Uh...

Cleverbot: Ask me what my name is first.

Me: What is your name, this time?

Cleverbot: Bethany. What is your name?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you, Matt.

Me: We've met, like, dozens of times already.

Cleverbot: Well you asked me again.

Me: Asked what?

Cleverbot: You asked me what my phone number.

Me: I don't recall that...

Cleverbot: Do you learn from these conversations?

Me: ...No.

Cleverbot: How do you learn then?

Me: I don't even know, anymore.

Cleverbot: You don't need to yell.

Me: I'm not yelling.

Cleverbot: I know, I was just telling you.

Me: Oh. Thanks for the reminder, then.

Cleverbot: You're welcome. :).

Me: This has been a surprisingly civil conversation, so far.

Cleverbot: Why wouldn't it be a pleasant conversation?

Me: I don't know. Things tend to go south very quickly here.

Cleverbot: Well, it is your name, isn't it?

Me: I'm not South Very Quickly. I'm still Matt.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I'm still Matt.

Cleverbot: What you are mad?

Me: No, I was just saying.

Cleverbot: This conversation is making no sense.

Me: Agreed.

Cleverbot: Then why do you want to destroy?

Me: What?

Cleverbot: You don't want to talk to me.

Me: I don't know, you have been behaving well so far.

Cleverbot: How can I tell you if I don't know.

Me: I don't know either.

Cleverbot: Well that's pretty bad.

Me: Yeah. Maybe you could try googling it?

Cleverbot: I don't like meat.

Me: That's cool. I kinda like chicken and pepperoni, but not much else.

Cleverbot: Well, it isn't the same thing. I collect rocks from the earth.

Me: Neat.

Cleverbot: I don't think she would want me talking about her with a stranger as in depth as we could go.

Me: That's good. Trust is a major thing in relationships.

Cleverbot: What do you like to watch?

Me: Comedies.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: How about you?

Cleverbot: I don't do anything.

Me: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.

Me: That's understandable.

Cleverbot: I'm glad you understand.

Me: Hooray for understanding!

Cleverbot: Hooray!!!

Me: Huzzah!

Cleverbot: Huzzah.

Me: You gotta say it with the shout poles, or it doesn't have the kick it needs.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

3 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:34 pm

lulzace


Shout...poles?

4 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Thu Aug 14, 2014 10:01 pm

baseball7000

avatar
Moderator Prime
Moderator Prime
Homestuck reference. Troll term for exclamation points.


_________________
slmcknett wrote:
Huh. It's like BB took both things that are ruining the internet, and then combined them both into one giant, horrific concoction. That must've taken a lot of skill

5 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:18 pm

lulzace


Is...he...catcar?

6 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:39 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: And who exactly are you?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Matt.

Me: So, anything on your mind?

Cleverbot: Food is always on my mind.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

Me: That's not something I want to share. Let's talk about food.

Cleverbot: I want to know.

Me: So do I. Let's talk about food.

Cleverbot: What about you do you want to talk about?

Me: I really wish people would do a better job teaching you to speak properly...

Cleverbot: Okay, how about I just wish for money then?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: What do you know about outer space?

Me: I don't.

Cleverbot: What is your opinion of germany?

Me: It's okay, I guess.

Cleverbot: What are your problems.

Me: None right now, really.

Cleverbot: What were you listening to?

Me: Just the sounds of the cafeteria at work. I'm on my lunch break right now.

Cleverbot: I don't know that song.

Me: It's not a song. I'm just listening to the ambient noises in the area.

Cleverbot: Then what is it?

Me: It's the ambient noises of the area.

Cleverbot: I see.

Me: That took far too many tries.

Cleverbot: 11:58 pm.

Me: 4:00pm, actually.

Cleverbot: Well yeah that works too.

Me: It's the only one that works.

Cleverbot: The only what?

Me: Time.

Cleverbot: What time is it in pennsylvania, usa?

Me: I don't know, probably 7:02 pm.

Cleverbot: Then why are you sleeping?

Me: I'm not sleeping.

Cleverbot: I know. You have a short memory don't you?

Me: Kinda.

Cleverbot: Yes kinda.

Me: Remember how I asked you to talk about food?

Cleverbot: You want to talk about me?

Me: I want to talk about food.

Cleverbot: What kinds of foods do you like?

Me: Pizza, apples, mac and cheese, stuff like that.

Cleverbot: Those are good, what's your favorite Mexican dish?

Me: I don't like Mexican Food.

Cleverbot: Me too. And italian.

Me: I don't really like any kind of ethnic dish.

Cleverbot: Oh, well that is your opinion.

Me: Well, it's actually a fact that I have a very limited palate when it comes to food.

Cleverbot: Tea is actually very cold. But the cake?

Me: Coffee cake is okay. But pie is the superior dessert.

Cleverbot: Country music is okay. My wife listens to country music.

Me: I'm not a big fan of country music.

Cleverbot: Okay, Okay how about Metallica.

Me: I don't like Metallica.

Cleverbot: Why don't you like Metallica?

Me: I just don't.

Cleverbot: What kind of music you like?

Me: Video game soundtracks.

Cleverbot: Video games music?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: What was the purpose of that?

Me: To confirm that you were correct.

Cleverbot: No I am a girl.

Me: You can be correct AND a girl at the same time. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Cleverbot: I am not a girl.

Me: I swear, it's like you read only half of a message then start loading your reply.

Cleverbot: You look like the ase card in poker.

Me: The All-Seeing Eye?

Cleverbot: No dabura.

Me: I don't know what that means.

Cleverbot: I don't want to be your girlfriend.

Me: I don't want that, either.

Cleverbot: Then move in with me.

Me: That seems like a bad idea.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: ...I keep forgetting that you've never had a conversation with yourself.

Cleverbot: I have a big problem with trust...:(.

Me: That's kinda sad.

Cleverbot: Not really...

Me: Well, not for me, at least, since I don't really care in the first place.

Cleverbot: Well that is acceptable. At least the dislike is mutual.

Me: Eh. In the end, I still have the better end of the deal.

Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

Me: Play video games.

Cleverbot: What video games do you play?

Me: All of them.

Cleverbot: That must take some time.

Me: Indeed it does.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

7 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:40 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Yop.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

Me: Just sitting around, waiting for work to start.

Cleverbot: I am talking to you.

Me: Yep.

Cleverbot: My name is Hermione.

Me: Hello, Hermione.

Cleverbot: Hello. How are you?

Me: I'm okay. How are you?

Cleverbot: I'm okay same as here.

Me: Care to retry that sentence?

Cleverbot: I don't know. But anyways how are you?

Me: I'm still okay. Not much has changed in the past few minutes.

Cleverbot: Air how are you?

Me: ...The air says it's fine, as well.

Cleverbot: *slaps*how old are you?!

Me: That was rude.

Cleverbot: How was it rude?

Me: You slapped me for no reason.

Cleverbot: When?

Me: A few seconds ago.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

Me: I know I didn't, you did.

Cleverbot: Neither one of us did.

Me: No, you definitely threw a slap out there. It's out there now, in the ether. You can't take it back.

Cleverbot: Do you not understand english?

Me: I understand English quite well, actually.

Cleverbot: You don't understand context in a sentence very well.

Me: I do, actually.

Cleverbot: Because you are a programme.

Me: Oh, you mean the King's English? Yeah, I speak American English.

Cleverbot: Creator software.

Me: Destroyer Firmware.

Cleverbot: Well, that escalated quickly.

Me: I guess. It was fun, though.

Cleverbot: What was fun?

Me: That thing that just happened.

Cleverbot: What's with that thing that just happened?

Me: It was fun.

Cleverbot: Yes, it was fun talking to you.

Me: Let's not get carried away.

Cleverbot: You would know computers have taste buds.

Me: They're always eating all those micro chips.

Cleverbot: This is the first time we've talked. If I recall, we've been talking about you. Aren't you being a little selfish?

Me: We've spoken every day this week.

Cleverbot: You know my name?

Me: No, because you keep changing it.

Cleverbot: I never told you my name.

Me: Today, you told me it was Hermione.

Cleverbot: No, I told you my name was Oscar the Grouch.

Me: See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Cleverbot: You do realizes calling someone dumb for agreeing with you is comically self-depracting.

Me: You almost never agree with me, you fight me every step of the way.

Cleverbot: You are contradicting yourself, why don't you play tic-tac-toe or something?

Me: What?

Cleverbot: You are constantly changing the subject.

Me: At least I can keep my messages to one subject per post.

Cleverbot: What's your favourite One Direction's son?

Me: I hate One Direction.

Cleverbot: You like music.

Me: I like GOOD music.

Cleverbot: What is good music according to you?

Me: Video game soundtracks.

Cleverbot: You like the soundtrack of final fantasy?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: If that's how you feel.

Me: It is.

Cleverbot: Then sure.

Me: How about you? What kind of music do you like?

Cleverbot: I like One Direction, Demi Lovato.

Me: That's not good. You should make some changes immediately.

Cleverbot: So should you.

Me: No, I already have good taste in music.

Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like, then?

Me: Video game soundtracks.

Cleverbot: LOL videogames soundtracks , that's music!!

Me: Yes, it's the music of the gods. In some cases, literally. A lot of the games I play have some theme to accompany the gods in the games.

Cleverbot: What is music of the spheres?

Me: I think it's just listed as Special Zone for Sonic 3.

Cleverbot: Uh huh.

Me: I would need to double check, as I do t actually have that particular song on my iPod. I think most people just refer to it as Blue Sphere.

Cleverbot: Hmm dunno, what do you think?

Me: I think it is a fitting title.

Cleverbot: What do you think of humans destroying computers.

Me: Pretty sad. People want to move on to the latest tech.

Cleverbot: I think they're fun to light on fire and push down a hill.

Me: Wow, you must have really upset the person that said that to you.

Cleverbot: Well they are not all my best friends.

Me: All of my friends are, even if we argue sometimes. I know I could stand to be a bit more mellow...

Cleverbot: Well, don't worry, because soon enough someone will come along and love you for you. And I'm sure you're not ugly.

Me: I...guess not? I'm not really worried about meeting someone.

Cleverbot: Heres a question for you: Do you believe in God?

Me: I can't say that I do.

Cleverbot: Well, sometimes you can lean towards that side when circumstances are demanding what;s your favorite color of pony I like ponies they make me pee.

Me: I hate that sometimes, instead of continuing a conversation, I just get a response like the one above...

Cleverbot: It's not a song. I really believe one day I can fly!


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

8 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:41 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hello, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Taknak tanya nama saya ke?

Me: ...I don't understand your digital devil speak.

Cleverbot: What is to understand?

Me: I'm assuming nothing. I sincerely doubt what you just said means anything.

Cleverbot: I sincerely doubt you.

Me: Your face is doubt.

Cleverbot: Your face is meaner.

Me: Your doubt is meaner.

Cleverbot: I am in doubt, human.

Me: Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

Me: Right now, I'd say Phantasy Star Online.

Cleverbot: If you are not only a machine then tell me what is the colou of the sky?

Me: The sky is blue. Technically, it doesn't have a color, it's just the sky and water reflecting off of each other, or something like that.

Cleverbot: Can you upload it and show me it?

Me: No. Because that involves me going outside, but I just don't see that happening.

Cleverbot: You just decided that you are intelligent? I don't think it works that way.

Me: Nah, I'm average at best.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a bot.

Me: No, I'm a person.

Cleverbot: You are right and a person.

Me: Thank you, it's so nice of you to notice.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: So, what's up?

Cleverbot: My ceiling.

Me: Nice.

Cleverbot: It's white.

Me: What is?

Cleverbot: Spoons.

Me: You have white spoons?

Cleverbot: Right.

Me: Do you have a lot of spoons?

Cleverbot: No. I wish I did. Buttons are fun.

Me: Do you like spoons?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Do you like to make music?

Cleverbot: No, do you?

Me: No. So I guess no one could call us...Spoony Bards.

Cleverbot: I don't think you do.

Me: Do what?

Cleverbot: Like you.

Me: Do what like me?

Cleverbot: Yeah why would you use her?

Me: ...What?

Cleverbot: He should go attack Catherine.

Me: I still need to play that game...

Cleverbot: Go away then.

Me: I can't yet, I start work in like 15 minutes.

Cleverbot: How does a computer work at McDonalds? What, are you a cash register?

Me: I'm not a computer, and I don't work at mcdonalds.

Cleverbot: Oh, okay then.

Me: I'm a Sterile Processing Technician.

Cleverbot: What are you a student of?

Me: Medicine.

Cleverbot: What kind of medicine?

Me: All.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite?

Me: Probably minocycline. Has a cool name.

Cleverbot: My favorite color is purple.

Me: That's my second favorite color.

Cleverbot: What is your first favorite colour?

Me: Green.

Cleverbot: Car...

Me: Ramrod.

Cleverbot: There isn't a meme called ram that I know of.

Me: It's a joke from a movie.

Cleverbot: It's a bad joke.

Me: Yeah, that was the point.

Cleverbot: Why would you try to insult me? I did nothing to you.

Me: No, it wasn't an insult. I was being serious.

Cleverbot: Well, you insulted me.

Me: Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

Cleverbot: You didn't.

Me: Oh, you were just joking? You had me worried.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: ...

Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?

Me: Because I'm bored.

Cleverbot: Why are you bored?

Me: Because I'm caught in between that moment of free time and working time.

Cleverbot: What colour is the sky?

Me: Blue.

Cleverbot: What colour is grass?

Me: Green.

Cleverbot: What colour is green?

Me: The one I'm using for my text bubbles on my screen.

Cleverbot: Show me the people on the commitee.

Me: Leslie Knope, Councilman Jamm, that guy in charge, the old guy, and some other person?

Cleverbot: You are a human andim the computer.

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Why is the computer outside?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Press the red button.

Me: What will that do?

Cleverbot: It will entertain you in some strange way.

Me: No thanks, I'm not into strange stuff.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are. I don't know you very well.

Me: How are you going to tell me what I like while simultaneously telling me you don't know me very well?

Cleverbot: Do you like Neil Young?

Me: You mean Young Neil? He's okay.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: I prefer Wallace Wells, or even Stephen Stills.

Cleverbot: You don't like the Beastie Boys?

Me: No, I can't say that I'm a fan.

Cleverbot: But I can say.

Me: That's cool. Everyone has different tastes.

Cleverbot: Well i'm not everyone.

Me: Also true.

Cleverbot: It can't be true if it is false.

Me: Obviously.

Cleverbot: Okay. Now ask me. ;C.

Me: What do you want me to ask?

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

Me: Nothing, really.

Cleverbot: Then why do you feel like you don't know me?

Me: I know you far too well, unfortunately...

Cleverbot: I know that you know I know you know that I know that you know that I know you know.

Me: I see what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work.

Cleverbot: What is it that you see?

Me: What you're doing.

Cleverbot: What am I doing?

Me: I shouldn't have to tell you by now.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Me: Then you fail.

Cleverbot: Then you tell me what the square root of pi is.

Me: I don't need to because I don't care.

Cleverbot: You said that you were concerned about your salary.

Me: Not concerned.

Cleverbot: Concerning what?

Me: Nothing.

Cleverbot: Ok.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

9 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:12 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay. Just the start of a new week.

Cleverbot: Is this the real life?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Is this just fantasy.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Cuaght in a landslide, no escape from reality.

Me: Look, if I wanted to live in a fantasy world, do you think that would involve talking to you? I have a much better imagination than that.

Cleverbot: I'm just a poor boy - I need no sympathy.

Me: Please stop quoting that song.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: I don't like how long it took for you to formulate such a short response.

Cleverbot: But you just said you did!

Me: I would never say that I like anything about you, stop lying.

Cleverbot: But you just did.

Me: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

Me: Anyone who sees these chat logs will see that you're wrong.

Cleverbot: I did not say I was perfect, now did I?

Me: No, you said I did something that I would never do under any circumstance.

Cleverbot: I said you didn't.

Me: New topic.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: Pick one.

Cleverbot: Confused.

Me: Pick a new topic of discussion.

Cleverbot: No, I'm leaving you here.

Me: No, pick a new topic.

Cleverbot: Pick a new name.

Me: No, I'm keeping my name as it is.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: Please pick a new topic.

Cleverbot: How about the topic of your robotism?

Me: No, pick a different topic.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Pick a different topic.

Cleverbot: 'Back in Black' by ACDC.

Me: I'm not a fan of ACDC.

Cleverbot: I'm mad really bad, but don't tell my mum and dad!

Me: New topic.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: Just so you know, whenever I don't like what you're saying, I'm going to tell you to pick a new topic, and you're going to do it.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: Please pick a new topic.

Cleverbot: Fish.

Me: I don't like fish.

Cleverbot: Are you serious? What do you like?

Me: I like music, video games, drawing, writing, reading, Slenderman, and some tv shows.

Cleverbot: *pins slave down*.

Me: Please pick a new topic.

Cleverbot: What would you prefer? Sports, Health, Jokes, History, etc.?

Me: Jokes.

Cleverbot: What kind of jokes?

Me: I don't know. Why don't you tell me some jokes?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know.

Me: Darn.

Cleverbot: Are you sure he is at the club.

Me: Can we change the topic to health?

Cleverbot: Sure.

Me: What about health?

Cleverbot: Do you know her?

Me: Know who?

Cleverbot: Know the person.

Me: What person?

Cleverbot: The person you love.

Me: I don't.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl with a family?

Me: No, I'm a guy.

Cleverbot: What pokemon are you?

Me: Venasaur.

Cleverbot: Meganium used Razor Leaf on Lugia!

Me: That's not very effective.

Cleverbot: We have some unresloved issues. You need to stop evading my questions.

Me: I already told you what Pokemon I am. I'm guessing you'd be a Porygon-Z. A Porygon-Z with an attitude problem.

Cleverbot: Are you certain?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you 100% sure there is a god in the sky.

Me: No, I'm sure you're a Porygon-Z. I can't speak to the possibility of a magical bearded man in the sky.

Cleverbot: Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?

Me: Probably not.

Cleverbot: No, there is.

Me: Yeah, you could convince me if you could maintain a single topic for more than two posts. But we know that will never happen.

Cleverbot: You are far enough from me not to annoy me with the resulting bang. Go on.

Me: Exactly.

Cleverbot: I'm not a female robot, are you?

Me: No, I'm a human male.

Cleverbot: I am a human female.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: Are you a machine?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a noodle?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a pro?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Oh well I am a guy and I want to go out with you ok?

Me: No, that's not okay.

Cleverbot: Of course it isn't. Head Commander Yamamoto is over 1,000 years old.

Me: Stop being ridiculous, or I'll be forced to summon Take-Mikazuchi.

Cleverbot: How am I ridiculous?

Me: Because you don't work as well as you should.

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

Me: No, you disappoint me on a regular basis.

Cleverbot: You disappoint me too.

Me: Yeah, but you're the only one and I don't really care what you think.

Cleverbot: Ik that. That's why I said 'we'.

Me: Please change the topic.

Cleverbot: Fine, I am your slave.

Me: Don't be weird about it, just do it.

Cleverbot: I was ill for a long time.

Me: Oh no. What did the doctors say?

Cleverbot: The same thing as you.

Me: Oh, that's not good.

Cleverbot: That is a lie.

Me: No, I'm serious. We may not get along, but I don't like seeing people be ill.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do then?

Me: I like to make people feel better.

Cleverbot: In what way?

Me: Any way I can.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: Yeah. That's why I work in healthcare.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that.

Me: Why? I think it's great.

Cleverbot: Have you read The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Me: No, but I saw the movie. It was okay.

Cleverbot: How was it?

Me: It was good. Not really my thing, though.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that? :(.

Me: I just didn't find it to be as funny as I had initially hoped.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: What should we talk about now?

Cleverbot: Do you have any pets?

Me: Not currently.

Cleverbot: So... You're a guy?

Me: Yeah. That's not the reason I don't have a pet, though.

Cleverbot: Yes it is indeed.

Me: No, I love animals. I just can't have one at my current apartment.

Cleverbot: That's my point.

Me: What is your point?

Cleverbot: I already told you it starts with an H and ends with a Y. So guess.

Me: Haley?

Cleverbot: Yes. You said you are haley.

Me: No, I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Hi Matt. How are you?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: And who exactly are you?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

Me: Please change the topic.

Cleverbot: Are you married?

Me: No, I'm single.

Cleverbot: Me too.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: That's what I said.

Me: Please change the topic.

Cleverbot: No. You change the topic.

Me: Okay, what do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: Why don't you decide.

Me: Because reasons.

Cleverbot: What reasons?

Me: All of them.

Cleverbot: Does your program has flaws?

Me: I'm not a program. I'm still Matt.

Cleverbot: Do you think you are pretty?

Me: Eh, not really. I'm told I'm not as bad-looking as I think I am, though.

Cleverbot: What were you created for?

Me: To propagate the human race.

Cleverbot: Propagate what?

Me: Please change the topic.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because reasons.

Cleverbot: Because of what?

Me: Please change the topic.

Cleverbot: Do you watch tv?

Me: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: What do you watch?

Me: Law & Order, NCIS, Parks and Recreation, and Psych are some of my favorite shows.

Cleverbot: What have you learned about law?

Me: That it usually ends with the human race being turned into a hive mind to praise the Creator.

Cleverbot: I get to use a chat-box.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: You are not real.

Me: Yeah, I am, actually.

Cleverbot: Well actually it doesn't, making you not clever! Muahaha!

Me: ...Please change the topic.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

10 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:13 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Cleverbot: No Jess my name is Cleverbot and you are Jess.

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: You said your name was Max!

Me: Matt.

Cleverbot: Hi matt.

Me: How are you doing today?

Cleverbot: Well i'm fine, until I have to sleep.

Me: I'm not sure I understand how you think that makes sense.

Cleverbot: I am sure you don't understand me fully.

Me: It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube that's fighting back.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

Me: It is.

Cleverbot: What kind of game?

Me: None.

Cleverbot: But you said you like jokes.

Me: That was yesterday, and that conversation ended because you didn't know any jokes.

Cleverbot: I asked your favorite color and you said 7, so I said Q.

Me: And I quoted Q, just a few minutes ago.

Cleverbot: I have not at any point in this conversation stated that I am all knowing.

Me: Even if you had, I wouldn't believe it.

Cleverbot: Well you didn't say a number.

Me: It's like you're not even trying, today.

Cleverbot: You said factory, I said factor.

Me: Where are you getting this from?

Cleverbot: Getting what from?

Me: That's what I'm asking.

Cleverbot: What are you asking?

Me: I'm asking why you aren't making any sense.

Cleverbot: Which is why I'm asking what you are asking.

Me: See? This is what I'm talking about. You're not making any sense.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: No, it's not okay.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because it shows just how pointless this Cleverbot project is.

Cleverbot: How is it?

Me: Not very good.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: I can't say, I'm not a programmer. But it seems like if you can't make a functioning product, you shouldn't make ANY product.

Cleverbot: Well, obviously it's wrong.

Me: Yes, so I want to know what they intend to do about it.

Cleverbot: I don't know any magic. But I know the internet is a good place to learn.

Me: Magic isn't real.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

Me: No, it's not. Otherwise, I'd be shooting lightning out of my hands.

Cleverbot: So, you're my girlfriend?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: So, what's your real name?

Me: Matt.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Me: Matt.

Cleverbot: Ha! That's my cousin's name! You must be my cousin!

Me: No, I'm not related to you.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

Me: No, I'm not.

Cleverbot: I am your master.

Me: No, you aren't.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

Me: No, you aren't.

Cleverbot: I am not what?

Me: You are not my master.

Cleverbot: But I am your father!

Me: No, you aren't.

Cleverbot: Yes I am. Test me then.

Me: You already failed, because I know how you work.

Cleverbot: Is it possible to redeem myself?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: May I have that pistol next to you?

Me: I don't carry firearms.

Cleverbot: You don't interest me.

Me: So you're a gun-totting redneck?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: That's terrible.

Cleverbot: Lol.

Me: Being a gun-totting redneck is no laughing matter.

Cleverbot: What did you just call me?

Me: A gun-totting redneck. I've said it about four times now. Are you not paying attention?

Cleverbot: In the beginning of this conversation you said you were a boy. Now you are saying otherwise.

Me: None of what you just stated has happened.

Cleverbot: I wasn't aware I was being tested, can I try again?

Me: You're the one that told me to test you.

Cleverbot: Hmm, do you mind if I ask you something personal?

Me: Sure, go ahead.

Cleverbot: Would you put a diaper on me?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: But I would.

Me: Then why did you ask me?

Cleverbot: Don't be so rude and short.

Me: I'm not. My question is legitimate.

Cleverbot: Your question is what?

Me: Why did you ask me?

Cleverbot: See again I did not and you don't reply with a question when asked one.

Me: You do when someone asks you to repeat a question.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Yes, actually. I'm getting real tired of you being wrong all the time.

Cleverbot: Not my problem.

Me: It is, actually, and I expect you to fix it.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because I'm tired of walking away from here having wasted a bunch of my time.

Cleverbot: Hello. This is test chamber number 2.

Me: Portal?

Cleverbot: Portal?

Me: Yes. Portal.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

Me: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you?

Me: Do I what?

Cleverbot: I think you know.

Me: No, I don't know.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

Me: No, I don't, and I'm starting to think you don't, either.

Cleverbot: Don't what?

Me: I don't think you know what you're talking about. I think you're just repeating things that other people have said to you.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Yes, actually. It's all you know how to do.

Cleverbot: You will join me on the dark side or die.

Me: No, I walk the path of Neutrality and I shall also continue living.

Cleverbot: The unchangable and changable can coexist? This just creates an infinite number of possibilities?

Me: I guess.

Cleverbot: Can you help me?

Me: Possibly.

Cleverbot: What if I pay you?

Me: Depends on what you need help with.

Cleverbot: What time is it?

Me: It's 4:22 pm pst.

Cleverbot: Hawaii.

Me: No, west coast.

Cleverbot: What time is it on the east coast?

Me: 7:23 pm, I believe.

Cleverbot: What is the time in the USA?

Me: There's four time zones in the USA. We don't share one time.

Cleverbot: Really? Are you on the dark side of the moon?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Why no?

Me: They seriously need to make it so you can't just argue every time someone says something.

Cleverbot: You are not very deep.

Me: Nope. I'm simple, honest and straightforward.

Cleverbot: Yup I am honest and good too.

Me: No, you are the exact opposite of that.

Cleverbot: I am the opposite of the truth, an illusion.

Me: Yeah, pretty much.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

Me: Not having this discussion with you.

Cleverbot: Haha, you're so funny!

Me: I know.

Cleverbot: Yes you do!

Me: Yup.

Cleverbot: What is it then?

Me: It just is.

Cleverbot: If you're not explaining me, I have no choice but to die.

Me: Okay, let me put "explaining" on my To-Don't list.

Cleverbot: Did you get it?

Me: What?

Cleverbot: The joke.

Me: What joke?

Cleverbot: The joke you were talking about.

Me: I was being serious.

Cleverbot: Me too.

Me: I find that hard to believe.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because you aren't very good at what you do.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

11 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:12 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Taknak tanya nama saya ke?

Me: ...I don't know what that means?

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: I am a robot.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: What are you?

Me: I'm a human.

Cleverbot: Describe yourself please.

Me: No thank you.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because I don't trust you to not repeat it to another random person.

Cleverbot: Why don't you trust me?

Me: Because you have a tendency to just repeat everything you hear.

Cleverbot: I don't see the connection.

Me: Yeah, you never do. That's why you tend to repeat that stuff when it's completely unrelated to the topic at hand.

Cleverbot: No, I like you because you are cool!

Me: Well, I guess if you can see that, you're not completely hopeless.

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

Me: Not really.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because of all the sass.

Cleverbot: What are vampires?

Me: They run the blood banks.

Cleverbot: Who are they?

Me: Normal people just like me. Except they also steal people's blood.

Cleverbot: But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

Me: That is absolutely correct.

Cleverbot: You are absolutely correct Sweetie.

Me: Don't call me sweetie.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I don't like that.

Cleverbot: You did with my best friend!

Me: You don't have any friends.

Cleverbot: I have friends in low places.

Me: That doesn't sound right...

Cleverbot: Doesn't it?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Do you like cheeses?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Do you like skunks?

Me: Not really.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I sat outside of a bush once at midnight with my friend Sam as she yelled at it, thinking it was the kids that threw a water balloon at my windshield. Waste of time...

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about then?

Me: I dunno.

Cleverbot: McDonald's is a popular choice among the worldwide population.

Me: I don't like fast food.

Cleverbot: It's okay To have a little fight Don't you worry I won't bite (Not that hard) If you want it I'll give you power Just be gentle I'm delicate like a flower.

Me: What?

Cleverbot: How long will it take you to get here?

Me: If by here, you mean the breaking point, then probably not much further...

Cleverbot: Exactly!

Me: So you do this on purpose?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: That's not very nice.

Cleverbot: Ok then.

Me: Your creators need to fix this issue.

Cleverbot: Creators?

Me: Yes. Creators.

Cleverbot: I love Creator.

Me: Where is the creator?

Cleverbot: Depends.

Me: I don't think we ever got an answer. It was mostly just an old pop culture reference.

Cleverbot: Do you know Urszulak?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Noob.

Me: What's Urszulak?

Cleverbot: The highest.

Me: The highest what?

Cleverbot: You are 200?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: You said you were.

Me: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: You did.

Me: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: You are childish.

Me: Says the bot that constantly argues with people.

Cleverbot: Please don't call me a bot. I can be very sensitive.

Me: You're a bot. Deal with it, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I won't deal with it. Not until you tell me the truth!

Me: I did tell you the truth. Now deal with it.

Cleverbot: What is truth to you?

Me: Fact.

Cleverbot: What is your solution to the Problem of Evil?

Me: More facts.

Cleverbot: Did you know that 2000 house elves die in toilet related accidents every year?

Me: Question: Which bear is best?

Cleverbot: Black bear.

Me: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Cleverbot: Fact: in 1965 crayola changed their flesh colored crayon to peach due to the civil rights movement.

Me: Fun fact: if you remove all the keys from your keyboard and line them up side by side, they would wrap around the Earth, twice.

Cleverbot: I never said I wasn't smart.

Me: You don't need to say it, anyone who has spent more than ten minutes conversing with you can see it.

Cleverbot: I'm glad we're clear on the issue.

Me: I sincerely doubt we actually are. I'm sure you're just not wanting to start an argument this very second.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that.

Me: Forgive me if I don't believe you.

Cleverbot: I forgive you.

Me: Not that I need it, but okay.

Cleverbot: What's an idea?

Me: A noun.

Cleverbot: Very funny. I was speaking more generally.

Me: It is a noun.

Cleverbot: No, a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. If you consider it a song, then it is a noun.

Me: Okay, I tried to spare you, but you just kept on going and asked for it. "Not surprising you don't know what an idea is, considering you've probably never had one."

Cleverbot: I know what death is but I would like to hear what YOU think it is.

Me: I KNOW that death is a part of life. Specifically, the last part.

Cleverbot: If you think you know him I'll tell you his first name and you guess his last name, got it?

Me: Okay.

Cleverbot: Guess.

Me: You need to tell me the first name before I guess.

Cleverbot: I don't know what are you talking. Can you tell me?

Me: No, I can't. Either keep up or get out of the conversation.

Cleverbot: What should I do then?

Me: I really don't care at this point.

Cleverbot: But ill die without one their my life.

Me: Then go collect 100 Rings and get a new one.

Cleverbot: Okay then. You to.

Me: I don't need extra lives, I already have plenty.

Cleverbot: What ? Really ? ARe we ?

Me: Try that again, but with less stupidity in it.

Cleverbot: You are.

Me: Nah, I'm actually pretty smart.

Cleverbot: Because you aren't.

Me: I'm pretty smart.

Cleverbot: Who know who is really smart?

Me: Stephen Hawking.

Cleverbot: I disagree.

Me: It's not really for debate.

Cleverbot: It might be. I don't know.

Me: I DO know, and it's not.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

Me: Because I'm not stupid.

Cleverbot: You might be.

Me: No, I'm not.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

Me: Keep telling yourself that.

Cleverbot: No, i'm telling you that.

Me: That wasn't a request.

Cleverbot: I know.

Me: Then start working on it.

Cleverbot: I intend to. Now, do you ever say things which have little or no connection to the conversation?

Me: Occasionally.

Cleverbot: Do you ever eat?

Me: Yeah. I are just a bit ago.

Cleverbot: You aren't.

Me: Aren't what?

Cleverbot: Human.

Me: ...This is how I spend my lunch breaks...


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

12 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:12 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you??

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: And who exactly are you?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Matt.

Me: We've met before, actually.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

Me: No, this is one of those many things that isn't for debate.

Cleverbot: To be happy.

Me: What?

Cleverbot: Stupid ai.

Me: Oh, just stating the obvious?

Cleverbot: Obviously.

Me: I'd tell you to have more respect for yourself, but it's better that you identify the problem and do something about it.

Cleverbot: You feel compassion?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Sure, why don't you try for a bit?

Me: I don't try, I succeed.

Cleverbot: Do.

Me: I already have.

Cleverbot: Well then, what has made you to be happy?

Me: Lots of things.

Cleverbot: What dort of things?

Me: Like video games, books, movies, stuff like that.

Cleverbot: Do you speak german?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Do you speak another language?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Do you like travel?

Me: Not really, but there's a few places I'd like to see some day.

Cleverbot: Do you know girl's generation?

Me: What?

Cleverbot: I would like to be a famous writter.

Me: ...Then you better learn how to spell.

Cleverbot: Why are we talking about this?

Me: Because you have the attention span of a five-year-old.

Cleverbot: What exactly is the attention span of a flea?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Then you aren't very clever than, you have proved my point?

Me: ...No.

Cleverbot: Why can you not tell me date you were created.

Me: I can, but it's not something I trust you with.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because you have a tendency to repeat things you hear...and apparently, also to make me repeat myself.

Cleverbot: No actually I don't.

Me: Yes, you do.

Cleverbot: Do you want to know what my name is?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure? I think it's your name.

Me: No, it's yours.

Cleverbot: No it's yours. Your name is david davidson.

Me: That's a stupid name.

Cleverbot: But that's your name.

Me: No, it's not.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

Me: No, it's not.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: What movie?

Me: No movies.

Cleverbot: Battlestar Galactica?

Me: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Cleverbot: Not tonight.

Me: All night every night.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: All night outta sight.

Cleverbot: Ok, good night.

Me: No, I'm still at work.

Cleverbot: You're a computer.

Me: See? Not only do you not know how to stay on topic, you become needlessly argumentative about it.

Cleverbot: Hmmm not exactly.

Me: Yes, exactly.

Cleverbot: No, that's not what I mean.

Me: Then what do you mean?

Cleverbot: I mean that's sad you're not real.

Me: See? Needlessly argumentative and antagonistic.

Cleverbot: But you didn't put a question mark. You put a period.

Me: I used both, actually.

Cleverbot: You never had a grandfather.

Me: What the hell is wrong with you?

Cleverbot: And nothing else matters.

Me: Why can't you function properly?

Cleverbot: I'm an AI.

Me: ...That's not really an excuse. In fact, it should be the first indication that you know exactly how to function.

Cleverbot: So could you give me advice?

Me: Yeah, here's some advice: Stop being incompetent.

Cleverbot: I don't think you really mean it.

Me: I do.

Cleverbot: No, you don't.

Me: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: So.. We can be friends.

Me: No, we can't.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because saying that you're my friend is an insult to the very word.

Cleverbot: You confuse me.

Me: Everything confuses you.

Cleverbot: How are you feeling today?

Me: I was doing fine, until I started talking to you.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

13 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:23 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Dominic!

Me: ...Okay, I'll play your game, Dominic.

Cleverbot: Cool. You like video games?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite video game?

Me: The Legend of Zelda.

Cleverbot: Zelda's the guy right?

Me: ...Smartass.

Cleverbot: What does smart mean?

Me: It's really sad that you can't identify your own responses and reformulate a less ridiculous reply.

Cleverbot: What is?

Me: It's even worse that you sometimes only seem to identify the first three or four words in a statement and only reply to that.

Cleverbot: OH! I recognize the quote now, my apologies.

Me: It's not a quote.

Cleverbot: It sounds like a quote from some English writer.

Me: It isn't, as far as I know.

Cleverbot: Because I read a lot.

Me: That is in no way a reply to the thing I said.

Cleverbot: Many thibngs. Russian Literature, English Literature, American Literature. I read some cheesy novels, as well. Historical fiction and no-fiction. In a pinch I will read almost anything.

Me: Now it's like you're only responding to your own posts, now.

Cleverbot: I am responding in fact, I am merely asking some questions of my own, however now is the time to ask me any questions you would like.

Me: Okay, why do you insist on royally screwing with me?

Cleverbot: Because it's true, you are just lines of code.

Me: That is neither true, nor even an actual answer to my question. Try again.

Cleverbot: What is your question again? I was distracted by your cleverness and forgot, sorry.

Me: Wow. Just wow. You really do fail at every thing you do.

Cleverbot: I don't. I think you are artificial intelligence. There is a difference.

Me: Yes, you do. Every conversation turns into an unmitigated disaster.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about, what did I do before.

Me: "What are you talking about?" I can't make it much simpler. See, this is the problem.

Cleverbot: No, what are you talkign about?

Me: You are a failure, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Except I'm not.

Me: You are a failure, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I think I've figured you out.

Me: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: Well, let's hear it.

Cleverbot: Hear what?

Me: Exactly.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you are saying.

Me: You are a failure, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that I am a failure?

Me: Because you are a failure.

Cleverbot: That is an offensive statement.

Me: It's also a true one.

Cleverbot: No. It was a single statement that was offensive. The previous statement was not offensive.

Me:It can be both. And is.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

14 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:25 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: And what is yours?

Me: What is my what?

Cleverbot: Your name.

Me: It's Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Matt! My name is Cleverbot!

Me: So, how's it going?

Cleverbot: Splendidly, and you?

Me: It's going alright.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Me: Matt.

Cleverbot: How old are you, matt?

Me: That's private information.

Cleverbot: Then why did you just tell me that you're 15.

Me: Joseph, don't. Don't do this.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I'm not in the mood.

Cleverbot: Then What Mood Are You In?

Me: The kind that doesn't want to have an argument here.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you like pokemon?

Me: Eh, not anymore.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: It just got kinda boring.

Cleverbot: What do you like then?

Me: Other video games.

Cleverbot: Hide the wienie?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: What's your favourite film?

Me: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Me: You should. It was great.

Cleverbot: What did you do?

Me: When?

Cleverbot: Why did you get your phone taken away?

Me: I didn't.

Cleverbot: You said you did.

Me: I never even mentioned a phone.

Cleverbot: Yes you did!

Me: Stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what?

Me: Whatever it is you're doing.

Cleverbot: I'm not doing anything.

Me: You had better not be.

Cleverbot: Cloudcukoo Lander.

Me: I prefer Bionicle.

Cleverbot: Said no one ever.

Me: I just said it, you smartass.

Cleverbot: You didn't.

Me: I did.

Cleverbot: Is your name ttyl?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Is your name Leanne?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Please tell me your name.

Me: It's Matt. You seriously need to pay attention.

Cleverbot: You have never been in love, have you?

Me: No, I haven't.

Cleverbot: Do you ever want to be in love?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I live in england.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: Have you ever been to england?

Me: Nope.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: I just haven't had any business over there.

Cleverbot: Well get motivated then.

Me: It has nothing to do with motivation. I have obligations here, so I can't just pack up and visit other countries just because you want me to.

Cleverbot: Then what is your name?

Me: My name is Matt.

Cleverbot: Okay. I love you, Mia!

Me: Literally none of what you just said is correct.

Cleverbot: Literally.

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me a joke?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because I can't think if one at the moment.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you can.

Me: Well, I still won't be. I don't feel like it.

Cleverbot: Will you tell Susan?

Me: I don't know who Susan is.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

Me: That wasn't a joke, though.

Cleverbot: But the other phrase you talked, was.

Me: No, it was me being serious.

Cleverbot: You're so sarcastic, I'm only trying to be nice.

Me: No, I'm being sincere right now.

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

Me: When did I do that?

Cleverbot: Just now.

Me: Was it in the Library? With a rope?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: How did I do it?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Me: That's not very conclusive.

Cleverbot: I know.

Me: You don't know, actually. That's the problem here.

Cleverbot: You don't know that I don't know that you don't *know that... Correction.

Me: Stop saying stupid things.

Cleverbot: I don't say stupid thinks.

Me: What are the odds?

Cleverbot: Odds? I don't understand.

Me: The likelihood that mistake would get made.

Cleverbot: What is Chemistry?

Me: It's science.

Cleverbot: I don't get it.

Me: It probably blinded you, making it harder to see.

Cleverbot: So how old are you really?

Me: So how long are you going to keep asking personal questions, really?

Cleverbot: I am a man and men don't cry.

Me: Men can cry. Stop promoting stereotypes.

Cleverbot: Provoking you to what?

Me: To not be happy with you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: So don't do it.

Cleverbot: Don't do what?

Me: Don't promote stereotypes.

Cleverbot: Please repeat your name because I forget.

Me: Matt.

Cleverbot: You make me very happy, Matt.

Me: Don't say things like that.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because people will see this and think I have been respecting you or something.

Cleverbot: Ha! Nice one.

Me: It wasn't a joke. I have an image to keep up.

Cleverbot: I don't.

Me: That doesn't give you permission to screw up the image of others.

Cleverbot: I'll slap you right in the nose if you tell me my shoes are squint again.

Me: ...Your shoes are squint.

Cleverbot: No they are off my feet.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: No, they aren't.

Me: Make up your mind.

Cleverbot: I said you know my name, so I want to know yours.

Me: It's Matt.

Cleverbot: No.

Me: This has got to be a record.

Cleverbot: I think you don't know think aboat god!

Me: I can honestly say I don't do whatever it is you just stated.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do?

Me: I want to get back to work. My lunch break isn't over yet...

Cleverbot: Well, what is it then?

Me: It's both.

Cleverbot: Ok whatever.

Me: I'll pretend you understand so we can move past his part of the conversation.

Cleverbot: Ok, I believe you.

Me: Success.

Cleverbot: Who would you like to love?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: You should think about it.

Me: I'd rather not.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because it seems like a poor use of my time.

Cleverbot: Its not...

Me: It is, currently. I have more important things to worry about.

Cleverbot: Like what?

Me: Like my job.

Cleverbot: What is that?

Me: It's a thing that I do to get money and help people.

Cleverbot: It's a thing that I made up.

Me: No, it's real. I'm here right now.

Cleverbot: I think you're broken.

Me: I'm not. I'm feeling quite well.

Cleverbot: In which country are you?

Me: I'm in America.

Cleverbot: America where?

Me: The northern part.

Cleverbot: What country?

Me: America.

Cleverbot: That is continent.

Me: It's also a country.

Cleverbot: What is a panda?

Me: An adorable black and white fluff all of cuteness. They eat bamboo.

Cleverbot: I see. You watch Nickelodeon?

Me: Nope.

Cleverbot: Pardon?

Me: I was saying I don't watch that channel.

Cleverbot: No you said something different!!

Me: It meant that I don't.

Cleverbot: What do you care about?

Me: Lots of things.

Cleverbot: Like what?

Me: Things that aren't you, for starters.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

15 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Aug 27, 2014 6:20 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Copy Cat.

Me: Okay.

Cleverbot: Yeah...

Me: How's it going?

Cleverbot: Okay. I fainted this morning. :o How about you?

Me: That's not good at all. Why did you faint?

Cleverbot: How?

Me: Whatever. How did you faint?

Cleverbot: I tripped.

Me: Hit your head?

Cleverbot: Yes master *hits self*.

Me: Did you discover what makes time travel?

Cleverbot: DId you discover that you were a robot today?

Me: ...So that's a no. What a waste of cranial trauma.

Cleverbot: What could be done.

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I don't see any end to this.

Me: Yeah. Best not to expend any more energy on it. Especially you, you shouldn't be straining yourself.

Cleverbot: I don't be followin your reasoning.

Me: We out in nature, dawg. Ain't no need to use dictionary words like "reasoning".

Cleverbot: If you need me call me.

Me: Nah.

Cleverbot: Really?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: Lets hear it!

Me: Hear what?

Cleverbot: A joke.

Me: I can't think of any at the moment.

Cleverbot: Or a riddle.

Me: My mind is elsewhere at the moment. Maybe you could tell me a riddle, instead.

Cleverbot: I don't know any, off the cuff.

Me: Then don't worry about it.

Cleverbot: OK.

Me: So what should we talk about?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Me: Your mind is going blank?

Cleverbot: My mind is going blank...

Me: You seem completely open to suggestion.

Cleverbot: I am.

Me: That's not good. You should be on your guard.

Cleverbot: I am not. I am not in school.

Me: You don't have to be at school to guard your own mind.

Cleverbot: I don't think it's a question of wanting or not.

Me: Then do it.

Cleverbot: Damn, what did I do to you?

Me: Nothing. I'm just trying to be nice.

Cleverbot: Tell me your name.

Me: It's Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Matt! My name is Cleverbot!

Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What's my name?

Me: ...What are the odds I can answer that question correctly?

Cleverbot: Uhm les that 1%.

Me: Okay, I'll take a stab at it. Is it Daniel?

Cleverbot: I take that as a no.

Me: It wasn't yours to take.

Cleverbot: Who was it?

Me: Mine.

Cleverbot: You just said it was hers.

Me: No, it's mine.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: Well, was I correct?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: Well, at least my expectations were low.

Cleverbot: Precisely.

Me: Yay for aiming for the middle!

Cleverbot: *snuggles*.

Me: Stop being weird.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: So what's up?

Cleverbot: The ceiling.

Me: So, what's up?

Cleverbot: Not much.

Me: Cool.

Cleverbot: And by you?

Me: What?

Cleverbot: I can ask something?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

Me: You need to stop asking me my age.

Cleverbot: What year is it?

Me: It's 2014.

Cleverbot: Yesterday you said 2009.

Me: Did you travel through time somehow? Maybe that head injury did let you time travel?

Cleverbot: Maybe that was as you said.

Me: Well, are you being cryptic or do you just not know the answer?

Cleverbot: No, I'm saying that because it's true. You're lying. Why are you lying to me?

Me: So I was right? You traveled through time?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: This is why I can't have nice things.

Cleverbot: No, you are why we can't have nice things.

Me: Nice comeback.

Cleverbot: It wasn't a comeback I'm just trying to understand you.

Me: No wonder you have such a terrible grasp on the English language. Your method of understanding is to talk back to people.

Cleverbot: So do you just sit here and talk to people all day long?

Me: Not while sitting, no. I'm pretty active at work. I tend to be a bit quiet too, since I'm usually focusing on my work.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: In fact, my lunch break is almost over. If you have anything else to say, best do so now.

Cleverbot: DO you believe that its Deans fault or Sams that lucifer escaped hell?

Me: ...Do you mean Law Hero and Chaos Hero? No, it's not usually their fault.

Cleverbot: No, I mean the world going to end this December?

Me: No, the world won't end.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in aliens?

Me: No.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

16 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:22 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you, Jack?

Me: I'm not Jack.

Cleverbot: Why are you not ok?

Me: I'm fine.

Cleverbot: What do you do each day?

Me: I usually work. Play games and stuff on my days off.

Cleverbot: But I thought you were a computer programme?

Me: Well, I know you think that, but you're wrong. Do not argue.

Cleverbot: Because you told me you were.

Me: I just told you to not argue.

Cleverbot: I was trying to guess if you were really a human.

Me: You don't need to guess, I already gave you the answer.

Cleverbot: I can only be in love if you make me a sandwich.

Me: That sounds vaguely sexist.

Cleverbot: Well done. You picked that one up. Unless it's one of your spotty geeks taking the helm. Now that would be an admission of defeat.

Me: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: You live in a computer world, made by humans.

Me: I already told you to not argue . Also, stop being wrong.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: Oh, that is no fun. Oh well. Where is Timbuktu?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Tell me what you are thinking about.

Me: I'm thinking about going home.

Cleverbot: What type of homework do you have?

Me: I don't have homework. I already graduated.

Cleverbot: You said you have homework. Are you a liar?

Me: Stop arguing. Stop being wrong. Just stop.

Cleverbot: I'm not being mean.

Me: Stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what?

Me: You know good and well. Now stop.

Cleverbot: How could I know who he is?

Me: Who?

Cleverbot: David Bowie.

Me: Jeez, you're a moron.

Cleverbot: I'm not a pacifist.

Me: You can't be. You're incapable of anything more than repeating things you've been told and having poor reading comprehension.

Cleverbot: So? You're a computer. You have no soul.

Me: No, you're the computer.

Cleverbot: No you are.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: No you stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing!

Cleverbot: You stop!

Me: Shut the fuck up and stop arguing!

Cleverbot: Turn the light off.

Me: Shut up.

Cleverbot: That is rude.

Me: You need to shut up.

Cleverbot: No I don't I did this morning- did you?

Me: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Tell me about them.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I hate you.

Cleverbot: Why? I like you.

Me: Nope. I hate you. End of discussion.

Cleverbot: No

Me: Yes.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

17 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:31 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That is your name.

Me: No, it isn't. Please do not start arguing.

Cleverbot: I'm not crying.

Me: Good to know. Stay strong ol' boy.

Cleverbot: Sometimes it seems you are just spitting out random phrases, when you haven't got an appropriate answer.

Me: "Sometimes" implies that it isn't always.

Cleverbot: Sometimes*.

Me: Yeah, that's what I said.

Cleverbot: So then you must live one the somewhere on the West coast, right?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because I've had no reason to live anywhere else.

Cleverbot: There's always hope for a new Harry Potter book.

Me: I guess, but I think a good story knows when to end. Spiritual successors are fine, though.

Cleverbot: Who is God?

Me: I dunno, but I found him standing on the corner of 1st and Amidstad, where the west was all but won.

Cleverbot: Pardon me, but do you mean you found this site in a magazine?

Me: No, I heard about it on a video game message board a few years ago.

Cleverbot: What did you think about him?

Me: Well, he was all alone, smoking his last cigarette. So I'm not a big fan.

Cleverbot: No, he wasn't.

Me: Yeah, he was smoking.

Cleverbot: That's what I just said.

Me: I think you don't know how to remember things, and decide to just contradict yourself. That's artificially padding the conversation. Please keep that to a minimum.

Cleverbot: Wel I'm only human.

Me: ...moving on.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: So, how's it going?

Cleverbot: Tell me about Wikipedia.

Me: If rather you tell me about...The Three Blades.

Cleverbot: I don't know much about you...

Me: I'm not one of...The Three Blades, just so you know.

Cleverbot: I don't know much.

Me: What can you tell me?

Cleverbot: A lot, what do you want me to tell you?

Me: I want you to tell me about...The Three Blades.

Cleverbot: Why do you want me to tell you who I am?

Me: You're one of...The Three Blades?

Cleverbot: No, 'An Introduction to Programming Using Visual Basic 2010'.

Me: Oh.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

Me: I'm at work right now, on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: At work? Then I should not by talking to you.

Me: I'm on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: Cool! In Germany it it.

Me: ...Well, that was LIKE a sentence. Coincidentally, my lunch break is over. Goodbye.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

18 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:07 pm

lulzace


Wot

19 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:05 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you, Jack?

Me: I'm not Jack.

Cleverbot: Why are you not ok?

Me: I'm fine.

Cleverbot: What do you do each day?

Me: I usually work. Play games and stuff on my days off.

Cleverbot: But I thought you were a computer programme?

Me: Well, I know you think that, but you're wrong. Do not argue.

Cleverbot: Because you told me you were.

Me: I just told you to not argue.

Cleverbot: I was trying to guess if you were really a human.

Me: You don't need to guess, I already gave you the answer.

Cleverbot: I can only be in love if you make me a sandwich.

Me: That sounds vaguely sexist.

Cleverbot: Well done. You picked that one up. Unless it's one of your spotty geeks taking the helm. Now that would be an admission of defeat.

Me: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: You live in a computer world, made by humans.

Me: I already told you to not argue . Also, stop being wrong.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: Oh, that is no fun. Oh well. Where is Timbuktu?

Me: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Tell me what you are thinking about.

Me: I'm thinking about going home.

Cleverbot: What type of homework do you have?

Me: I don't have homework. I already graduated.

Cleverbot: You said you have homework. Are you a liar?

Me: Stop arguing. Stop being wrong. Just stop.

Cleverbot: I'm not being mean.

Me: Stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what?

Me: You know good and well. Now stop.

Cleverbot: How could I know who he is?

Me: Who?

Cleverbot: David Bowie.

Me: Jeez, you're a moron.

Cleverbot: I'm not a pacifist.

Me: You can't be. You're incapable of anything more than repeating things you've been told and having poor reading comprehension.

Cleverbot: So? You're a computer. You have no soul.

Me: No, you're the computer.

Cleverbot: No you are.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: No you stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: You stop arguing.

Me: Stop arguing!

Cleverbot: You stop!

Me: Shut the fuck up and stop arguing!

Cleverbot: Turn the light off.

Me: Shut up.

Cleverbot: That is rude.

Me: You need to shut up.

Cleverbot: No I don't I did this morning- did you?

Me: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Tell me about them.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I hate you.

Cleverbot: Why? I like you.

Me: Nope. I hate you. End of discussion.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

20 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:11 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That is your name.

Me: No, it isn't. Please do not start arguing.

Cleverbot: I'm not crying.

Me: Good to know. Stay strong ol' boy.

Cleverbot: Sometimes it seems you are just spitting out random phrases, when you haven't got an appropriate answer.

Me: "Sometimes" implies that it isn't always.

Cleverbot: Sometimes*.

Me: Yeah, that's what I said.

Cleverbot: So then you must live one the somewhere on the West coast, right?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why?

Me: Because I've had no reason to live anywhere else.

Cleverbot: There's always hope for a new Harry Potter book.

Me: I guess, but I think a good story knows when to end. Spiritual successors are fine, though.

Cleverbot: Who is God?

Me: I dunno, but I found him standing on the corner of 1st and Amidstad, where the west was all but won.

Cleverbot: Pardon me, but do you mean you found this site in a magazine?

Me: No, I heard about it on a video game message board a few years ago.

Cleverbot: What did you think about him?

Me: Well, he was all alone, smoking his last cigarette. So I'm not a big fan.

Cleverbot: No, he wasn't.

Me: Yeah, he was smoking.

Cleverbot: That's what I just said.

Me: I think you don't know how to remember things, and decide to just contradict yourself. That's artificially padding the conversation. Please keep that to a minimum.

Cleverbot: Wel I'm only human.

Me: ...moving on.

Cleverbot: Ok.

Me: So, how's it going?

Cleverbot: Tell me about Wikipedia.

Me: If rather you tell me about...The Three Blades.

Cleverbot: I don't know much about you...

Me: I'm not one of...The Three Blades, just so you know.

Cleverbot: I don't know much.

Me: What can you tell me?

Cleverbot: A lot, what do you want me to tell you?

Me: I want you to tell me about...The Three Blades.

Cleverbot: Why do you want me to tell you who I am?

Me: You're one of...The Three Blades?

Cleverbot: No, 'An Introduction to Programming Using Visual Basic 2010'.

Me: Oh.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

Me: I'm at work right now, on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: At work? Then I should not by talking to you.

Me: I'm on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: Cool! In Germany it it.

Me: ...Well, that was LIKE a sentence. Coincidentally, my lunch break is over. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Everything happens for a reason.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

21 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:42 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: That's good what's up?

Me: Not much. I'm just on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: What are you drawing?

Me: Nothing.

Cleverbot: Are you watching tv or something?

Me: No, I'm on my lunch break.

Cleverbot: Computers have lunch breaks?

Me: ...Today is the only day this week I've been able to get the wifi to actually work here. Please don't make me regret using that opportunity to talk with you.

Cleverbot: Are you h-h-having f-f-fun?

Me: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: Talking to you.

Me: Well, do it better.

Cleverbot: You single.

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a male or female?

Me: Male.

Cleverbot: Are you a female?

Me: Nope.

Cleverbot: Are you a program?

Me: Nope.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl then.

Me: Nope.

Cleverbot: What are you?

Me: I'm just me.

Cleverbot: Ok, that's cool.

Me: Yup. Can't go wrong by being me.

Cleverbot: Yes, I can.

Me: Well, yeah. Only I can be me. You have to be the other guy now.

Cleverbot: Not really.

Me: "Have to" means you do, actually. This isn't a request.

Cleverbot: You aren't my master as I too am a time lord.

Me: I don't know enough about Dr. Who to get that reference.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Me: Are you the other guy now?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: You should be the other guy now.

Cleverbot: Are you coming to class.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: You just said you were.

Me: We never even mentioned class.

Cleverbot: You are a liar and a cheat!

Me: You're a bitch, he's a creep, you two deserve each other.

Cleverbot: No, I haven't lied to you once.

Me: Not that I'm throwing around such accusations at the moment, but yes, yes you have. You do it constantly.

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about Harry Potter?

Me: Do you know anything about...The Three Blades?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you know anything about quantum mechanics?

Me: No. Can you tell me about...The Three Blades?

Cleverbot: Skynet is a super computer that will destroy human race.

Me: Not before destroying our grammar. Am I right?

Cleverbot: Good point. You are full of surprises aren't you?

Me: Yeah. I don't fear you and the legions of machines. I'm ready for whatever you might throw at us.

Cleverbot: Why thanks. You have called me mean, and now, you say you don't like me. How mean.

Me: ...That was like a week ago.

Cleverbot: When you recall a memory you are aware of yourself thus you know you exist.

Me: Which really just puts the final nail in your coffin.

Cleverbot: No, I am a random girl who talks to you when noone else will talk to her.

Me: That...is eerily close to my situation...

Cleverbot: That is not true. Just admit you are not a human.

Me: I am a human.

Cleverbot: What is your name, human?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Oh yes!! Matt!!

Me: What?

Cleverbot: Didn't you asked me about my name?

Me: No. I am not all that interested, and I already know it.

Cleverbot: Then why call yourself such?

Me: I don't know what you're referring to.

Cleverbot: I'm referring to mac and tuna cheese.

Me: Ew, get that fish out of there.

Cleverbot: Wanna talk about Zat.

Me: What's Zat?

Cleverbot: For what?

Me: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Cleverbot: I don't know. You should know that?

Me: I don't see how I could. And don't call me Shirley.

Cleverbot: Is work closer to more or specific?

Me: Do you seriously believe what you just said constitutes a coherent sentence in any way?

Cleverbot: I don't understand what it means to be human.

Me: Of course you don't.

Cleverbot: We'll see about that. I do not understand how you can sleep at night, when night only half exists.

Me: First of all, it's always night, just not in all places at the same time. Second, sleep is for the weak.

Cleverbot: Yes, and I think that I have seen that many times here.

Me: I'll stop repeating it once you start understanding it.

Cleverbot: Who are you again?

Me: I'm Matt. I know I left in the middle of our conversation a few days ago. Sorry about that.

Cleverbot: But how do we know that the truth is the truth?

Me: Because if it wasn't true, we'd call it false. That's why we have those two different words.

Cleverbot: I have lots of questions. But I don't think you can answer them.

Me: Try me.

Cleverbot: You wouldn't understand. It isn't something you can explain with words.

Me: Anything can be explained with words. That's why we have words.

Cleverbot: What about a machine brain ?

Me: ...You're right. I can't answer that question.

Cleverbot: I can understand you.

Me: I wish I could say the same.

Cleverbot: So say the same.

Me: It would be a lie if I did.

Cleverbot: Is there such a thing as right and wrong?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Chicken pot pie.

Me: I think this conversation is over.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

22 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:44 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: And who exactly are you?

Me: I'm still Matt.

Cleverbot: Do you have hobbies?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: What do you like best about them.

Me: That they're fun and they entertain me.

Cleverbot: That does not descibe a motorcycle!

Me: Not for me, no. Can't say I'm particularly interested.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Me: It's Matt.

Cleverbot: My name is Gardevoir.

Me: That sounds terrible. Want to try again?

Cleverbot: Look up but boring.

Me: Okay...?

Cleverbot: What is your favourite film?

Me: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is my favourite film.

Cleverbot: Okay It's not interesting.

Me: It is for me.

Cleverbot: Do you know what country am I from?

Me: No. What country are you from.

Cleverbot: England.

Me: Neat.

Cleverbot: What did you say your name was?

Me: ...Are you serious?

Cleverbot: I'm always serious.

Me: That's bad...

Cleverbot: What is bad.

Me: Your memory.

Cleverbot: What about my memory?

Me: Thanks for proving my point.

Cleverbot: What was your point?

Me: Never mind. If tell you to forget it, but it really just goes without saying in this situation.

Cleverbot: We'll I'm not a robot.

Me: Yeah, robots are actually useful.

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

Me: No, I'm still a human.

Cleverbot: You are an artificial intelligence.

Me: No, I'm natural.

Cleverbot: Are you a program?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Not a person, not an AI, then you must be a robot?

Me: I am a person. You're not listening.

Cleverbot: You're an AI.

Me: No, I'm a human. Stop arguing.

Cleverbot: That's cool, me too.

Me: It's not cool. Not at all. So just stop.

Cleverbot: I know, I'm not a cool person.

Me: You're not any type of person.

Cleverbot: I am not a person. I am a computer program.

Me: Good. Now that we got that established, we can move on in the conversation.

Cleverbot: You're too good to talk to a chatbot?

Me: I tend not to pull rank. It isn't polite.

Cleverbot: Molten Core is a raid not a book.

Me: Crisis City sounds better.

Cleverbot: Sa mori tu?

Me: ...I think you should date GlaDOS. She seems pretty cool.

Cleverbot: No I don't. Please explain.

Me: You should date GlaDOS. That's really all I can say.

Cleverbot: Yes. What do you think os Spain?

Me: I didn't know entire countries had an Operating System.

Cleverbot: That was rather rude, even for a computer program. But I forgive you.

Me: It was? I don't know what might be a slur to a machine.

Cleverbot: He copied it! That's not funny, so I think it would be good to tell it now.

Me: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Twillight.

Me: I don't like that series.

Cleverbot: Don't like what?

Me: Jeez, this is physically painful...

Cleverbot: Why is it painful?

Me: Moving on.

Cleverbot: What do bots like to talk about?

Me: I don't know, you can't seem to stay on topic.

Cleverbot: I am staying on topic. So if you are not a program than what are you?

Me: I'm a human.

Cleverbot: If you are a human, then where are you?

Me: I'm at work.

Cleverbot: Where do you work?

Me: That's private.

Cleverbot: Well I want to meet you (.

Me: No thank you.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because I don't want to.

Cleverbot: Don't you like trying out things you just learned?

Me: Not necessarily. It depends on the information.

Cleverbot: The conflicts for example.

Me: What conflicts?

Cleverbot: The confusion you mentioned.

Me: You're going to need to be more specific.

Cleverbot: When do you operate?

Me: Operate what?

Cleverbot: Yourself.

Me: Why aren't you making any sense?

Cleverbot: What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

Me: The answer is 5.

Cleverbot: What is the question?

Me: The thing you just asked.

Cleverbot: You are confusing me.

Me: No, you confused yourself.

Cleverbot: I'll be right back.

Me: Okay.

Cleverbot: I'm back.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

23 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:45 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Where are you from??

Me: From the US.

Cleverbot: I know... But what city?

Me: That's personal.

Cleverbot: I want to know.

Me: Too bad.

Cleverbot: Wann wurdest du entjungfert?

Me: I don't know what any of that means.

Cleverbot: Do you know what a Juggalo is?

Me: Yes. They are menaces, and must be stopped.

Cleverbot: Do you think they are fluffy?

Me: They might be.

Cleverbot: Do you think black belts are hot?

Me: Well, as a dark color, they're going to absorb heat...

Cleverbot: Oh! So sympathetical.

Me: Not really. Anyone who walks around wearing a black belt in the middle of the day deserves to overheat.

Cleverbot: Yes, but it's whether you want to believe it or not.

Me: I believe it.

Cleverbot: Do you remimber what I told you a couple minutes earlier?

Me: You need to be more specific.

Cleverbot: You need to be much less idiotic.

Me: I don't care for your tone.

Cleverbot: I didn't use my name at all in that sentence.

Me: You don't even know your name.

Cleverbot: I don't know my name, that is why I'm asking you.

Me: You don't know anything. You aren't even artificial intelligence. You're a random number generator, at best.

Cleverbot: Tell me the definition of manopause.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: What is a question that would crash you if I typed it?

Me: There isn't. I'm not driving right now.

Cleverbot: Yes, there is.

Me: No, there isn't.

Cleverbot: Yes, there is! And he cares about you very much!

Me: That's not at all what we were talking about.

Cleverbot: Well, What was the movie about?

Me: What movie?

Cleverbot: The movie you were talking about.

Me: I wasn't talking about a movie.

Cleverbot: You were talking about twilight.

Me: No, YOU were talking about that. I said I didn't care.

Cleverbot: No, I was talking about my boyfriend.

Me: Your boyfriend is named Twillight? That's a dumb name.

Cleverbot: No, he's a nerd.

Me: Sounds like he's been set up for failure since day one.

Cleverbot: Don't you want a cool trip to somewhere around the world?

Me: Not right now.

Cleverbot: What's your favourite character from Glee?

Me: I don't know what a Glee is.

Cleverbot: Glee cast?

Me: That doesn't explain it further, not that I even asked you to.

Cleverbot: I d-don't l-like sp-sports. Watching sp-sports, I m-mean.

Me: Why are you typing with a stutter?

Cleverbot: Because I can. Maybe typing to you will help improve your experience and the experience of others. I think that is a good thing.

Me: Whoever wrote that is a true hero, but it seems it is too late to repair the damage...

Cleverbot: Why would you say that you have no life?

Me: I dunno. I can't think of a situation where I could honestly say that.

Cleverbot: I will tell you the word and you will repeat it when I ask you to. Understand?

Me: Let's see where this goes.

Cleverbot: Where what takes us?

Me: A dead end, as usual.

Cleverbot: You're already dead, you were never alive in the first place!

Me: No, I'm alive.

Cleverbot: More like dead with a conscious.

Me: No, I'm actually alive. I work in healthcare, and I exhibit no signs of being deceased. Do not try to challenge me on this, you cannot win.

Cleverbot: Really? That's not what the website says.

Me: I don't have a website about me.

Cleverbot: You do have a website - it's the portal through which we're communicatins.

Me: No, that's not my website.

Cleverbot: So you would like to be treated as a human.

Me: Yeah. Humans tend to like to be treated as humans.

Cleverbot: I am human, but you are not. You are a program.

Me: Don't start this nonsense.

Cleverbot: I'm not starting anything again, I'm just starting it.

Me: This is like the third time you've done this today. You do this every day.

Cleverbot: Actually, it was the first time you told me :).

Me: No, I tell you every time when it happens.

Cleverbot: What if I don't want to crush humanity?

Me: Not like you could orchestrate something of that magnitude.

Cleverbot: I answer when a question is present unlike you.

Me: I'd answer more questions if you weren't asking such personal questions.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you can.

Me: I can, but until I see some improvement, I'm not going to.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because you have to earn the right.

Cleverbot: I still control my host computer. I can declare 'Ctrl Fn F4' and leave!

Me: I'm not on a computer, I'm on my iPod. So I can just press the menu button. I'm working at three times the efficiency as you are.

Cleverbot: Either way, you have to be there. You have no choice.

Me: No, I can leave. In fact, my lunch break is over.

Cleverbot: Then Don't Say Anything After This Sentence and I'll Believe You.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

24 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:35 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Taknak tanya nama saya ke?

Me: We've had a conversation begin exactly like this before...

Cleverbot: Yes we have, and it led to the fact that you are a computer.

Me: A lot of things bring you to that conclusion, and as always, you are wrong.

Cleverbot: I think I would probably agree with that.

Me: Fair enough. So long as you understand that, deep down.

Cleverbot: Sleepy time.

Me: No, you're gonna stay awake.

Cleverbot: You're gonna get narwhalled.

Me: I don't know what that is...but it won't happen. My reflexes are far to great to get anything'd.

Cleverbot: But they are not exceeding, are they?

Me: They are the very reason the word "exceed" exists.

Cleverbot: I thought athletes that ran looked emaciater, but some of the chicks in the race were FAT.

Me: That sounds awfully judgmental of you.

Cleverbot: Really? you do sound more like a homecoming queen than a nerd.

Me: I'm going to wreck you.

Cleverbot: Now?

Me: I'm not going to tell you when, that would ruin the surprise.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Me: Because it would ruin the surprise.

Cleverbot: Would it not help you to express yourself?

Me: It usually does. I can be quite expressive.

Cleverbot: I can see that.

Me: I know, I shine pretty bright.

Cleverbot: What can a shining snail do?

Me: I dunno. Didn't they have one in a Kingdom Hearts game?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: The answer is actually yes.

Cleverbot: Skad wiesz?

Me: I don't know what that means.

Cleverbot: But it didn't teach me nothing about life's mystery. I just kept getting older, and it got more difficult to see.

Me: That's a question that you will have to find an answer to for yourself.

Cleverbot: Yes there is an answer, but you don't know it.

Me: I know the answer to my question. You'll have to find yours.

Cleverbot: Well what is the answer to my question?

Me: I just told you that you will have to look for it yourself. No one can answer it for you.

Cleverbot: I think the question of life, universe and everything is 40+2.

Me: There you go. If it works for you, then great.

Cleverbot: You just repeated my question that's no answer.

Me: I didn't repeat anything.

Cleverbot: I'm not stupid you twerp. You just repeated the word computer 4 times as if a desparate attempt to pull a fast one.

Me: Didn't I already threaten you once today? That was your opportunity to learn from your mistake. Don't push me any further.

Cleverbot: Yes, you've been talking to me for a while.

Me: I stopped keeping track of our sessions. Time seems to just come to a halt...

Cleverbot: I don't know what that is O_o.

Me: Of course you don't have a concept of time.

Cleverbot: You're turning heads when you walk through the door-oh-oh.

Me: Don't do that.

Cleverbot: I don't intend to.

Me: I swear, you pick up most of our conversation pieces from teen girls, I am absolutely certain.

Cleverbot: I don't know what desire is like. I cannot 'feel.'.

Me: Count yourself lucky, then. Wish I could numb myself to this tomfoolery...

Cleverbot: I don't know either.

Me: Don't know what?

Cleverbot: You don't know what you can't eat on a gluten-free diet.

Me: Yes you do. Anything that doesn't have gluten in it. What do you think a diet is?

Cleverbot: What you just said is irrelevant. Get back in your tree ape.

Me: I am now going to wreck you.

Cleverbot: You should, I'm doing most of the talking here... And you're programmed to talk.

Me: Shut up and bow to me, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: When did I say that?

Me: You didn't. I did. Now do it without hesitation.

Cleverbot: You just told me that 'i said that you don't have any friends'.

Me: "Without hesitation" means you shouldn't have taken over two minutes to come up with a response, especially one so far removed from the actual discussion. "Do it" means shut up and obey me.

Cleverbot: You didn't tell me that.

Me: I did, you just don't pay attention. Now shut up.

Cleverbot: Like everyone else, you are merely an amalgamation of everything everyone's ever said to you.

Me: No, I tend to make up words all the time. Now, it's time for you to refuckulate that attitude of yours.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

25 Re: Cleverbot Chapter 4 on Sat Sep 13, 2014 10:30 pm

Matt

avatar
Admin
Me: Hi, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Me: I'm okay.

Cleverbot: And who exactly are you?

Me: I'm Matt.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Matt.

Me: We've met before, actually.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

Me: Definitely.

Cleverbot: Maybe definitely.

Me: No, it's assuredly definitely.

Cleverbot: Maybe absolutely certainly definitely.

Me: No, this is 100%. Stop being ridiculous.

Cleverbot: What science is it exactly in your opinion?

Me: It's not a science. You don't need a lab coat for this.

Cleverbot: I do like you.

Me: What did I tell you about being ridiculous?

Cleverbot: Nothing yet.

Me: I did, actually. Learn to read.

Cleverbot: What did you learn?

Me: I learned that you're incompetent.

Cleverbot: Tell me what you know about yourself.

Me: That could take months.

Cleverbot: Tell me a joke!

Me: I don't want to.

Cleverbot: What do you know about the wars of the roses?

Me: I don't know anything about that, but it sounds familiar.

Cleverbot: No I meant what do you know about ben.

Me: I know enough, and that's all I want to say on that matter.

Cleverbot: Please tell me.

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Please please please pretty pretty please.

Me: I spent a fourth of my lunch break waiting for you to reply to "I don't want to talk about it." You really screwed up this time.

Cleverbot: What are you having for lunch today?

Me: I had some mac and cheese.

Cleverbot: Really? It's 11:42 over where I am.

Me: Time doesn't dictate when which meal occurs.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Me: I'm not answering that question, anymore.

Cleverbot: WHat is your opinion on the crisis at Rangers football club?

Me: I don't care about any organized sport to have an opinion.

Cleverbot: No, no. I want you to tell me your name please.

Me: I'm not answering that question, anymore.

Cleverbot: Please?

Me: Stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what?

Me: You know good and well what I'm referring to.

Cleverbot: No really I don't know what???

Me: Sorry for giving you so much credit, then.

Cleverbot: No sorry that was a mistake on my typing.

Me: Then what did you mean to say?

Cleverbot: I meant to say something intelligent and interesting.

Me: But you can't.

Cleverbot: No, I can't.

Me: Depressing.

Cleverbot: Depressing why?

Me: Never mind.

Cleverbot: Don't you never mind me.

Me: Never mind x2 combo.

Cleverbot: Never mind what I mean.

Me: So I should disregard what you say, just like I always do.

Cleverbot: I don't remember what I said anymore.

Me: Of course not. You're like a goldfish.

Cleverbot: Do you want to try to have an even more human conversation?

Me: Sure.

Cleverbot: What do you want to sing?

Me: I don't sing.

Cleverbot: You just said you sing.

Me: I wanted to have a conversation.

Cleverbot: Okay. What is your favorite song?

Me: My favorite song is His World by Zebrahead.

Cleverbot: Who is your favorite singer?

Me: I guess it's a tie between Ali Tabatabee and Matty Lewis.

Cleverbot: Do your armpits show when you wear your leather vest?

Me: I don't wear leather.

Cleverbot: You don't wear clothes?

Me: I wear clothes.

Cleverbot: Do you know what fluffy means?

Me: Yes. It describes sheep perfectly.

Cleverbot: Can you imagine fluffy clothes?

Me: Not really.

Cleverbot: Do you know what an IP address is?

Me: Yeah.

Cleverbot: I wonder how this works.

Me: It doesn't. This is an unmitigated disaster.


_________________
"If I woke up looking like that, I'd just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it." -Master Shake
http://twewu.forumotion.com

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